Incoherent Ramblings

Avoid Answering No for Someone Else

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I don’t know if you’re like me, but rejection is a terrible thing. Working up the courage to ask someone for help can be exhausting, and it’s only made worse when they say no. But there is something that hurts more than asking and being told no: never asking.

Because I fear rejection, often times I catch myself trying to reason my way out of asking someone for help. “They are not going to have time” or “They wouldn’t want to do that” becomes the refrain I tell myself.

The reality, however, is I will never know how someone will respond especially if I never ask. If I tell myself “they will say no, so why bother”, then their answer will always be no.

But, when I ask, they now have the opportunity to say yes. And who knows, I could get surprised.

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One comment

This is so true! My fear related to this is that people will begin to avoid me because I ask them to help with things. I started eliminating people before I even asked because I was afraid I was asking too much too often. After a season of burn out and God using circumstances to MAKE me ask for help, I found that many wanted to help but I gave them the impression I didn’t need their help, or even worse, I didn’t WANT their help. Ugh. I felt terrible.

I now have a new policy that I share with people. “I won’t be afraid to ask for your help if you promise to say ‘no’ if you are unable.” This way, people don’t feel guilt when they need to say no and I don’t feel anxious about asking.

This post highlights an important message for leaders. People want to serve. We often hold the keys to everything and fail to pass those keys out. Thanks for this post, Wes.

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