Confession time: I struggle with asking people for help. My biggest hurdle is convincing myself people want to help, even after they are already serving in some capacity.
That’s why I lean on the 3 questions to help me grow as a leader. They serve as a framework and a reminder.
(Side note: if you don’t know what the 3 questions are, please go here and read about them.)
Today, let’s talk about the 3rd question specifically (Who can I get to help?). My thought is simple: What if people actually want to help?
I know not everyone wants to help, and not everyone wants to help with anything you ask (although some may). But in my experience, there are people who are willing to help especially when they are helping in a way that energizes them.
People who love to cook, when asked to cook, are energized by being able to cook.
People who love to build, when asked to build, are energized by being able to build.
People who love to paint, when asked to paint, are energized by being able to paint.
People who love to run sound, when asked to run sound, are energized by running sound.
People who love to work with babies, when asked to serve in the nursery, are energized by serving in the nursery.
Are you starting to see the pattern? It’s there, but it doesn’t stop there. Our role, as ministry leaders, is to find what it is that someone loves to do, and ask them to serve that way. Makes sense, right?
Over the years one of the most defeating things I’ve encountered is having requests for help being met with no. Sometimes, it has been because the person hasn’t wanted to serve, but sometimes it was because I was asking the right question to the wrong person.
So, today, what if people really want to help? Are you asking the right person to accomplish the right thing? Are you asking the right question? Or, is the fear of “no” causing you not to ask at all?
One last thought: for those who work with students. There is incredible value in teaching students to ask and answer the 3 questions, teaching them to grow as leaders early in life by simply exerting influence. But there’s also incredible opportunity to find students who are willing to serve and giving them an opportunity to do just that, because after all, what if students are willing to help?
Click here to subscribe and get 3QL posts in your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday.
I had the wonderful opportunity to visit Hawaii on my honeymoon. I was 20 years old, and had never been to a beach, so to say it was an experience is an understatement. We were fortunate to be able to take several tours, one of which took us around the island of Oahu to a couple different beaches.
On that tour, one of the stops was a snorkeling expedition. I don’t know about you, but I discovered something that day: snorkeling is not natural. Don’t believe me? Fill your bathtub with water and immerse your face, but breath normally. I’ll wait here.
I distinctly remember floating around and realizing my heart was racing and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I was supposed to be breathing through a tube, but my instinct was to hold my breath. Something had to give.
Leadership can feel the same way. You get into a situation where you think you know exactly what you are supposed to do, but in reality you may have to adjust your natural reactions to meet the needs of the moment.
And in that moment, overwhelm sets in. You begin to wonder if you’re going to be able to adjust, or even if you should have to adjust. You feel like the water is all around you and all you want to do is breathe normally.
Here’s the reality: the only way to avoid leadership overwhelm is to avoid leadership.
If I had stayed on the beach that day, I would never have experienced that moment of panic, but I also would not have seen firsthand one of the most inexplicably fascinating things I’ve seen in my life. Sure, I could watch videos or look at pictures of schools of fish swimming by, but nothing replaces the experience.
Leadership is the same. If you’re feeling overwhelmed today, good. Now, breathe normally and keep going. You’ll adjust and respond accordingly. That’s what leaders do.
And who knows, along the way, you may even influence some people to do the same.
Want 3QL posts in your inbox? Click here and subscribe!
But, if you have the time, I invite you to read this post–one that seemed to resonate with a large number of people, and a message I think still applies well.
Oh, and if you have the time, take some time to admire nature, and here’s a video to help.
I hope you have a great day today, and thanks for joining me on this journey.
Years ago, I remember traveling over a holiday break with my new wife (the same one I have currently). I remember where we were exactly on the road to my hometown as I shared with her my passion about some ministry ideas I had recently discovered. It was a pivotal moment for me in my early ministry, and a topic about which I was extremely passionate.
This week, as we traveled again, our conversation was slightly different. Okay, not slightly. Instead of ministry theories, I was serenaded by my wife and daughters to the soundtrack of Annie. It is a hard knock life, after all, for our family in our fully functioning gas guzzler, but let’s save that thought for another time. We still talked about life and about ministry, but I wouldn’t trade my in-car-musical for the world.
Instead, my challenge to you this week is simple: unwind.
Not every moment this week has to be filled with a discussion about ministry or next steps or leadership development. Enjoy a conversation about sports, or weather, or life, or anything besides your roles and responsibilities this week.
Thanksgiving is only two days away, so mentally prepare yourself to be present with the people around you. Unplug from distractions and pay attention to those around you this week.
Not to get too agricultural on you, but even the best wheat field needs a break from being grazed to recover. The same is true for you and me.
Take a break this week, even if it’s for one day. It’s worth it, trust me.
Want to receive 3QL posts in your inbox? Subscribe here!
Hey, you there. You reading this. I’m talking to you. Today’s post isn’t a pie in the sky theoretical thing. It’s a nuts and bolts post. Aimed directly at Student Pastors, but applicable to anyone in leadership.
Did you know the most read post on my blog in 2017 was about taking time to say thank you? I think most people resonate with the challenge of thanking people around us, but find it difficult to make it a regular part of our routine.
On Tuesday, I posted about the effectiveness of hand written notes and challenged you to write one note. Well, today, let’s look at three different types of people who need a note from you.
These people are the real heroes of youth ministry. Their role is crucial to any success or growth you may experience. Don’t believe me? Try serving in a church where you cannot pay a volunteer to show up versus a church where you’re able to establish a 1 adult to 3 students ratio–the difference is staggering.
Take time to show your appreciation for these incredible people who work full time jobs and volunteer their time. Write them all a note at one time, or tell yourself you’re going to write one or two each week. Whatever it takes.
You may not have continual contact with students, but you can make their day by sending them a note. One story in particular comes to mind: I sent a note to a student when she was in 8th grade, just to let her know I was praying for her. Around five years later, we were visiting while she was home from college, and she told me she still had that note. You never know what a student might need to hear, or just being reminded that you’re praying for them.
I alluded to this previously, but if I can make my daughters feel special with a note, why wouldn’t I do that? The same is true for my wife and my family. You may not have children or even a spouse, but I bet you have family of some sort that would love to get a note from you. Write a thank you or a “thinking of you” note to an aunt or uncle who played a significant role in your life and you’ll have the chance to be a blessing to them.
So, there you go. Pick a category, and write another note today. It’s worth the time it will take to write, trust me!
Have you subscribed to get 3QL in your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday? If not, click here and do so!