My oldest daughter turns 12 tomorrow. When she was younger, she had imaginary friends. Each friend had a name, none of which I can remember. But the name made them personal.
Hang with me for a minute. If you have children, or have ever been one, then you know the power that comes from giving something a name.
We name our stuffed animals. We name our cars (at my former church, “Bertha” was our temperamental van). We name our guitars. Well, you may not have guitars, but I name my guitars and those of other people (shout out to Tay Tay).
There’s an affection that comes from naming them. There’s a sense of pride and ownership. There’s a sense of power.
But at the end of the day, the stuffed animal is a stuffed animal. The guitar is a guitar. The car is a car. The name does nothing to change the fundamental existence. It makes us feel better or more connected, but it does not change the core.
Leadership is the same way. We can give someone the name of leader, but does that truly change who they are at the core?
I see it time and again in student ministry and in watching people who work with students. They wait for students to show a sign of achievement before bestowing the name of leader. Students lift the renaming up as part of their goal–some target to aim for or strive towards. Once they “become a leader”, then they will step up and lead.
What if this approach misses the point completely? What if I am a leader regardless of whether or not I have the title?
What if I am not searching for someone to give a new name, but instead for someone who already doing what leaders do?
I have said this before, and I will repeat it until I stop breathing or am shown that I’m wrong: leadership doesn’t show up because of a title. You can influence people around you regardless of your place on the org chart. You don’t need a title or a position to exert influence. You need a mindset.
I regularly talk with students about “making the room better.” I want them to walk into a room and it to be a better place because they are there, regardless of their title.
This is what I strive for. I don’t have to be up front to accomplish this. I don’t have to touch every life in the room to accomplish this. But I have to be consistent.
Stop waiting for a title to come your way to lead. Grow your influence.
Stop waiting to bestow a title on a student who is worthy. Throw the title away and help them grow their influence.
Then, at some point down the road, you and they will look up and realize you, and they, are making the room better.
Leadership so often boils down to the impact we make.
Think about someone in your life who has had a leadership influence on you. How would you describe their leadership?
The number of books they read?
The size of their house?
The way they made you feel?
The way they made others feel?
Each of those things, in their own way, reveal the impact they had. Some, more than others.
I think some of the best leaders are not necessarily people who set out to be great leaders, but those who set out to be faithful.
What if our greatest impact as leaders is not because of any program we adopt or implement? What if our greatest impact as leaders occurs because we choose to be faithful to our calling?
Let me rephrase.
Our greatest impact as leaders does not come because of a program we adopt or implement. Our greatest impact as leaders occurs because we choose to be faithful to our calling.
How are you being faithful today?
Tim Elmore has a habitude called the Starving Baker. The idea is simple: a baker who neglects his own hunger in order to bake more will eventually die of starvation. Seems brutal, right? But does that mean it’s not true?
Invest in someone today–yourself. Take a 30 minute silent walk. Pick up a book you’ve been wanting to read but just haven’t made the time for. Listen to a podcast that nourishes you. Listen to some classical music, or some classic rock.
Ultimately, at the end of the day, if our desire is to impact others for the long haul, we have to remain emotionally and spiritually healthy.
Take a moment to eat some of your bread, baker.
One of Maxwell’s Laws of Leadership is the Law of Explosive Growth – If you want to grow, lead followers; if you want to multiply, lead leaders.
Here’s what I’ve found in ministry: I have to lead both.
Hear me out. I’m not contradicting one of the foremost leaders on leadership.
Instead, what I’m saying is that if all I do is spend my time and energy looking to find leaders, then I’m spinning my wheels.
But, if I develop a mindset that says “I’m going to develop anyone who shows interest”, then I have a system set up for greater leadership potential to rise to the top.
Once I have identified a student with a higher leadership ceiling, then I can spend more time trying to draw that out of them, helping them grow and develop.
The truth of the principle is still there–leaders make a greater impact. I believe that with all of my heart. But willing leaders still make the difference. I can never lead someone to a place they are unwilling to go. I can take a little willingness and help them achieve new heights, but I cannot make an unwilling jumper a world class diver.
What system are you putting into place that allows students to explore their leadership leanings? Do you have ways of identifying leaders with higher ceilings? Do you need to add something like that?
I saw a youth ministry related facebook post the other day asking how the collective hive mind selects student leaders. I think this is an extremely legitimate question, but one that needs a quick reframing.
Let me start by zooming out. The bottom line when it comes to leadership development is that I am not the only person interested in developing students into growing leaders. In fact, depending on their extracurricular activities, I may be one of multiple people interested in helping them expand their leadership influence.
As we zoom in, however, we start to see a few key differences. Of all the people in a student’s life who want them to grow as a leader, I may be one of a select few who are interested in teaching servant leadership, and more specifically, servant leadership as modeled and taught by Jesus.
So, when I look at a room of students and want to select a few student leaders, my approach is a little different. I have written about two key traits for student leaders previously (you can read that here), but one of my criteria is willingness to serve. If a student is unwilling to serve, then neither of us grow from the time we spend.
I watched this play out first hand. I used to think if I saw leadership potential in a student, they would benefit from me calling it out of them. But there was a flaw in my approach. I was calling something out of a student who wasn’t willing to serve, and as a result their commitment level was abnormally low, and even started to resent me for expecting them to show up.
Now I take a different approach. Most recently, I have students fill out an application and sit down for an interview before joining the leadership team. If a student is willing to put forth the effort of filling out an application and scheduling an interview, then we have an agreement there will be a time commitment to what they’re doing.
I cannot call something out of someone who is unwilling to grow.
Guilting a student into leadership misses the point.
Only allowing the popular kids to lead misses the point.
Establishing leadership as a higher rung misses the point.
On Thursday I will continue this thought, but for today let me ask you to join me in considering this: is your approach to developing leaders around you a healthy one? Are you willing to make the changes necessary? Are you willing to keep what needs to be kept?
Watching leaders grow their leadership influence is one of the most exciting parts of what I do. But that doesn’t mean everything is a win. I have had to adapt over the years. Maybe you need to do the same thing.
Want to stay in the discussion? Click here to subscribe to make certain you get Thursday’s post continuing this thought.
Every teenager has leadership potential. More than potential, however, every teenager has influence. My job, as someone who desires to expand my leadership influence, is to help students learn to do the same.
Over my time working with students, I’ve developed a conviction or two. One of those convictions: sometimes a gruff exterior doesn’t mean a hard heart. In fact, sometimes the most amazing blessings come from being able to look beyond a teenager’s appearance and see the kind, gentle, humble heart hanging out below the surface.
But getting to the heart can be tricky more times than not. Some kids put up walls to prevent further hurt. Some kids put up fronts to keep people from knowing who they are. Some kids tear themselves down so their peers don’t have a chance to do so.
Adults do this, too. I don’t think this is a surprise to anyone. This is a people issue.
Our job, as leaders, is to try to look beyond the surface and to watch for glimpses of someone’s heart, then call that out of them. It’s not always easy, and it is often exhausting. But when you see someone step up and exert positive influence, it’s always worth it.
So, who is someone in your sphere of influence that needs a little extra attention? Whose personality is really strong, but may just be a front to hide what’s underneath because they’re afraid to let others know they’re kind and gentle? Who do you need to shift your view of today?
Please fill in the form and submit to subscribe and make it easier to learn to expand your leadership influence!