The Tension of the 3rd Question

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Last week I went to camp. One of my roles at camp was to teach leadership to a group of 12 students. What I did not anticipate, however, was the leadership challenge I was going to face in the process.

The kids were great. They were willing to step up and serve, they had humble spirits that were willing to learn, and they poured back into their own groups to make a difference.

The challenge was on my end. I had two roles while at camp: leadership and sound booth. There were certain times in the schedule where the two overlapped, and so I was faced with the tension of the 3rd question: both things need to happen, but I cannot accomplish both at the same time.

(Side note: If you do not know the 3 Questions, click here to read about them. The 3rd question asks “Who can I get to help?”)

The tension of the 3rd question boils down to this: asking other people to help actually helps us accomplish more. Revolutionary, right? Maybe not. In fact, this concept is completely logical. It makes perfect sense that the more people we ask to do something, the more we can get done.

The tension, then, comes when we as leaders would rather do something on our own for any number of reasons. Maybe there’s a certain level of glory in being in charge of something, or we enjoy accomplishing the task. But at the end of the day, if we want to lead, we have to answer the 3rd question.

So, today, what are you holding onto that you can let go? What is on your plate that overwhelms you, but you are afraid to ask for help? What can you ask someone to help with in order to create some forward momentum? Answer the third question this week and see what happens.

 

Leadership and Yard Work

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Yesterday was a milestone for me as a father. I have a busy week this week, so I took some time yesterday morning to mow my yard. This time around, however, was different. I had a helper.

My 10 year old, earlier this summer, went through Papa and Mimi Lawnmower training. So, naturally, as I prepared to mow yesterday, I recruited her to help. She was scared to try a bigger mower, so I had her edge until I got to one spot we agreed would be her spot.

Now, having grown up on the farm, I remember how this works on tractors. My dad would make the first round, then put me on the tractor to finish the rest. So I did the same.

I made the first round and it was ready for Anna. So, I called her over, had her sit down on the mower, and gave her the orientation. Throttle. Mower blades. Forward. Reverse. Brake. She was ready.

I stepped back and was ready to gloat at my incredible lawn mowing daughter. Then she took off. The first 5 seconds were magical, then I realized she couldn’t see where I had gone the first time.

She turned way too early. Skipped a mower width away from my initial cut, and consistently turned short, leaving skips on the ends.

Strangely enough, at this point I was not upset or angered. I only chuckled to myself and called her over. I pointed out where she missed, gave her some tips, and sent her on her way again, still watching.

Can you guess what happened next? She still made mistakes. So, I called her over and showed her a trick that I learned decades ago, and let her go at it again.

The leadership principle here? When we let someone do something new, we have to remember they don’t have the experience or judgment we have at the moment. Actually, we would do well to remind ourselves of the mistakes we made when we first started.

But, if you want to expand your leadership influence, you are going to have to fight the battle between “I can do better myself” and “I do not have time to do this.”

My daughter is years away from being a professional yard care expert, but this summer she has had a great start.

Everyone has to start somewhere. The question becomes, are we going to give them their start or not?

The Power of Devotion

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Last night at church we read Colossians 4:2 – “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Then, I asked what the people in the room were devoted to.

The answers, naturally, were varied. I had put a qualifier on the question that I didn’t want church answers, that I hoped we were are all devoted to Jesus. From there, the answers given were sports, band, eating, and one spouse (an adult, of course).

This got me thinking about my own life. Of course I am devoted to God first and foremost. After that, I would like to think I’m devoted to my wife and family. From there, however, what comes next.

Devotion is such a strong word. There are some things that I feel like are okay to be devoted to: God, family, work, etc. There are, however, some things I would hesitate to identify as being devoted to, smaller things. Things that I can be interested in, but devotion carries a next level connotation.

That brings me to this blog in and of itself. Honestly, I’m devoted to this blog. Granted, my devotion is not an all out devotion, but here it is Thursday morning and I’m writing yet another post. There’s a definite devotion to the process that has been taking place for the better part of the past 17 months or so.

But really, my devotion is not to this blog. My devotion is to becoming a better leader. My devotion is to help you become a better leader. My devotion is to process the things I am learning each week by writing them out, in the hopes that as I process through different ideas, you’re able to make the journey with me.

So, two thoughts to wrap us up today: First, thank you so very much for joining me on this journey. Thank you for commenting online or in person. Thank you for subscribing in your email (as simple as that sounds). Thank you for sharing on social media when a post speaks to you.

Second, to what are you devoted? Top three aside, are you devoted to growing as a leader? Are you devoted to making those around you better? Are you devoted to leading in a way people want to line up and support you along the way? I’d like to challenge you today to spend some time thinking about your own devotion.

Christ first, always. Family next. Maybe even work after that. But, what about leadership? What about growth? What about joy? To what are you devoting your efforts?

Avoid Getting Distracted

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I love grilling. Over the past six years, especially, I have started to experiment more and more with recipes, rubs, and types of meat. It has been a wonderful journey.

Last night, unfortunately, I was reminded of something: I am not an expert, and I cannot multi-task very well.

We had some friends over for supper last night, so I decided to grill some ribs. I put them on the grill, but it was late at night so I wanted them to cook a little faster than I usually cook, so I violated a policy I have when grilling: leave the middle burner off. (My policy comes from experiences with flare ups mainly.)

I went inside to take care of something in the kitchen, and while doing so my youngest daughter comes running inside saying “Daddy, your ribs are smoking!” I ran outside to find the flare up of all flare ups.

In leadership, beware of the temptation to multi-task. There are going to be things in your experience where you know you have to keep some safeguards in place (no middle burner), unless you can devote all of your attention to the task at hand.

I truly believe trying to multi-task often only means divided attention and weakened results. Focus on the job at hand. Keep your mind on what you’re doing. Carve out time later to jump to the next project, but make the most of the time you have in the moment.

The good news: I was able to salvage most of the ribs last night.

The bad news: I lost one. Well, one rib had a custom blackened crust on it.

Beware the distractions that pop up in your leadership and keep you from focusing.

Why I Love Leadership Trip

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I’m in the process of wrapping up our 5th annual Student Leadership trip. Here are three things I absolutely love about our leadership trip.

  1. The Variety – We have talked to three different people already, with one left. Each person has presented unique information. In fact, in the 5 years of doing our trip this way, I have never had speakers overlap in what they talk about. On top of that, the topics they share often are things I never would have considered sharing or covering.
  2. The Relationships – The biggest benefit of this trip is the time together. This year we had a smaller group make the trip, so our time together has been able to be much more intentional. Our discussions have gone deeper, and the things I have brought up along the way have sparked great conversations.
  3. The Intentionality – We have been able to be very intentional and pointed in some of our discussions. Being away from home, on a trip designed for leadership, we have had the perfect opportunity to address some things that needed addressing.

I am so grateful for the people who have shared and who are going to share with my kids on this trip. I am looking forward to seeing how these students grow as leaders as a result over the next year.

If you are a youth pastor, I would encourage you to consider making a trip like this (click here to read more). Whether you have a formal Student Leadership Team or not, it has been worth the effort on my end, without a doubt.