Tag: perspective

Time to Stretch

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Last week I took a group of students on a trip and stepped out of my comfort zone.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with someone who talked about his having to learn to excel at programming for events because he couldn’t play an instrument. During that conversation I realized the opposite was true for me.

I got my first guitar in 7th grade. I formed a “band” in 8th grade, and have been playing in some capacity ever since. Music has always been part of what I do in Youth Ministry programming.

In other words, I have never had to learn how to effectively program, meaning I found a growth area–something I wanted to add to my leadership toolbox.

Let me take a moment to acknowledge programming is bigger than running a game. It’s the total package. Programming builds the total experience. But, for me, I’ve got to start somewhere.

As I was preparing for our trip last week, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and try to do something other than music in our programming. In the fall, I attended a conference where we played “Extreme Bingo”. I downloaded the file from Download Youth Ministry, and tried to prepare myself for what came next.

At the end of the night, “Extreme Bingo” was a blast. I had a student leader take the role of number caller, and we played 5 rounds. The kids had fun. I had fun. The adults had fun.

My thoughts today, however, are not about how I did it, but that I did it. I recognized an area in my leadership that needed growth, and decided to challenge myself to do it. I have not arrived as a master programmer, nor will I ever, but I have taken the first step to improve.

So much of leadership boils down to knowing where we excel and where we fail. I do not have to be the best at any one area, but I have to be willing to try and willing to bring in people to help.

So, what about you? Where are you stretching yourself to grow? What do you need to add to your leadership toolbox? If you were to sit down and self-evaluate, what risk do you need to take? Are you willing to take it? Who can you bring along to help you take the risk?

Get More From a Phone Call

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Have you ever done Amway? Or something similar?

Years ago, when my wife and I were fresh out of college with a baby in diapers, we found ourselves in a group of people selling Amway (or the North American branch). The experience was what you would expect. We had no problems with any of it, but after a while decided it wasn’t for us.

I will never forget, however, one of the meetings. It was in a hotel conference room, and we were listening to a guy give a speech to encourage and recruit. One of the things he said was profoundly simple, yet incredibly powerful.

When you call someone to have what could be a significant conversation (let’s say 2 minutes or more), first ask if they have time.

Asking such a question may seem counter-intuitive, but here’s my experience employing that simple concept over the past almost 10 years: it works. It communicates I want to respect how someone else uses their time. It gives the other person a chance to say “Let me call you back in 5 minutes after I finish my current task” or “I’m busy at the moment, but you can call me back in 30 minutes.”

But most importantly, it allows the other person to be fully engaged with our conversation.

Over the years, I have found the times where I take for granted someone is free to talk and skip past the question, are usually the times  when I get cut off in mid sentence and they ask to call me back in a little while.

So, for the rest of this week, when you make a phone call, I want you to start by asking the other person: do you have time to talk? See what happens. Be okay if they’re busy at the moment, the engagement you’ll get back when you finally talk will make a difference.

And at the very least, you will communicate a respect for the other person’s time, and we all win when we show respect.

Communicating Expectations Well

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One of the things I have most enjoyed about blogging over the past year has been the lessons I have learned and processed through my writing. Almost a year ago, I broke an unwritten rule I have about not writing about an idea or topic that recently took place when I wrote about communicating expectations.

The truth is, that post came directly out of a lesson I learned while on our annual Spring Break trip. You can click the link above to read the full post, but the short version was I got frustrated because my adult leaders were not following the schedule I had worked up, but I had never given them a copy of the schedule. So, in reality, I was frustrated with myself, not with the incredible team of volunteers who serve in the youth ministry.

As I am spending this week getting ready for the same trip, I am keeping in the forefront of my mind: communicate expectations well.

I believe this is a foundational leadership principle for my personal journey. If those who serve with me do not know what I expect, how can I realistically hold them to those expectations?

Plus, I can be a rather intense person, so learning to write down and communicate those expectations helps me manage them to a more realistic level. In other words, my unspoken expectations are often unrealistic expectations.

So, I have two questions for you today.

  1. Do you struggle with communicating expectations? If I was to ask the people you lead what you expected of them, would their answer line up with your answer?
  2. On a grander scale, what leadership lesson have you learned in the last year and what changes are you making as a result?

Just a side note to finish today: this is why I am so passionate about teaching the 3 questions to student leaders. I can teach a simple concept, and we are then on the same page moving forward!

Guest Post: Don’t Carry the Load Alone

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I’m turning over a new leaf today on the blog with the intent of making guest posts a regular part of the rotation. Today’s guest post is from a good friend–Ryan Connel.

Student ministry has been my pursuit for 20+ years.  I love it!  It takes you on a roller coaster ride of emotions.  You can go from the thrill of seeing students understand what Christ did for them, committing their life to Him, to the pain that every day life can bring.  Then there are all the emotions that play out in between those extremes.

Back in the day this time of year would bring about a lot of stress for me as we were in the middle of summer camp & mission trip prep.  One of the reasons it would stress me so is because I wondered if we would have enough students to make a trip work.  I remember hours spent to get speakers, worship teams, small group leaders, cooks, & on down the list, then coming down to the last week & having very few students signed up.  There is a conversation for another time about casting a vision for what you are planning.  But for our purposes today I would like to share one thing that changed our involvement on trips.

As the event came together I would eventually lay out a signup sheet, usually a couple of months out from the trip.  Weekly, I would announce the event to get student involved & excited.  Yet I would walk over to the signup sheet & only have a handful of diehard students signed up.  In my weakness as a leader, I had failed to really connect the students into what we were doing.  At some point along the way I made the choice to call students in the weeks leading up to an event & invite them to come join us.  It was definitely more effective, but I’m betting you can already hear what the first question was on the other side of the phone, “Who else is going?”  I always thought that was a funny question & understood to a point why they would ask it, but why the need to have other students validate if the event was worth while.

My answer finally came in a book that changed a lot for me.  It is called “Sustainable Youth Ministry” by Mark DeVries.  Why I missed this for so long, I don’t know, but I’m thankful for the incredible resources we have our disposal now days.  One of the things I remember him mentioning is how he would get his leadership students to make phone calls when leading up to events.  I gave it a try a few years back & it changed so much for us.  The first thing I noticed is the excitement in my leadership students.  It meant a ton to them to be asked to be involved in the preparation.  I also noticed that they were able to connect in more students than I ever would have thought of or had contact information for.  There was also an excitement that came from the leadership students sharing their excitement, that built the excitement of those being invited, so those being invited made things more exciting because the leaders could see the fruit of their labors, which eventually lead into a life changing event for many students.

The lesson I learned was to stop trying to carry the responsibility to get students involved by myself, because the reality is I won’t always be around & I’m limited in my connections.  God has gifted us with students that want to & should be used for the kingdom, so why not use them & grow them even in something so simple.  The other important lesson was that ministry isn’t a sit back & wait responsibility.  It is engaging at all levels.  So who are the students you can involve in your next event?

Interested in reading Sustainable Youth Ministry? Pick up a copy today!

 

Embrace Your Strength

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How well do you know yourself? What settings do you find yourself naturally gravitating toward and thriving as a result?

I work better in a collaborative setting. When I have the opportunity to work with a group of people, my creativity goes through the roof.

For example, last year I worked with an intern. The greatest benefit was having someone with whom I could talk through decisions and ideas. When left to myself, I bog down in possibilities and options.

What about you? How do you thrive? Do you find yourself being rejuvenated by working alone? Or maybe you feel like working in a group helps you present your best?

If you have never considered this before, take just a minute and think about the last month. How many times have you tried to get together with a group of people? How many gatherings have you avoided? When did you feel energized?

Some people do better by themselves, where others thrive in community. Neither is right or wrong, unless you’re going against your wiring.

Once you have evaluated and decided how best you work, embrace it. Because I do better in group settings, I have built group times into my schedule. I have two to three groups I meet with on a regular basis, whether it be lunch, catching up, or coffee. Our time together may not always be about ministry or leadership, but I regularly grow as a result. My schedule reflects my leanings.

If you do better alone, find time to get away. Let your calendar reflect your strengths. Schedule in times to get creative.

One final word, balance is important. I may lean towards working better in a group, but I still have to find time to work alone. You may work better alone, but you cannot hide from group work completely.

Know your strength. Play to your strength. Embrace your strength. But do not neglect your weakness. Find the balance.

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